Fairy Ring (Take 2)

In both art school and normal school, in drawing and writing, I have been told, “Never submit the first draft”. And when it comes to drawing, what I post is usually not the first thing I came up with.

This is the most obvious example, but even with stuff like Lotus Cobra is Evil, layouts and writing undergo many changes before the final product goes out. The latest comic with Jace being a jerk was the third idea I came up with, having scrapped both a sequel to the “All Your Jace” comic and a graveyard joke guest-starring Orin, and the line insulting Suika was originally “Looks like you just searched out two Marsh Flats”, far inferior to the end result.

Fairy Ring used the first draft of a script. I don’t know what possessed me to do that. It was probably because Miao Diary used the first draft and came out okay – until the last chapter, which I stalled on for a long time before finally figuring out how to end it properly. After drawing 26 pages into the story, I’ve realized the problems with the script, and have resolved to fix them.

1. Getting to the point.
Miao Diary dropped its first punchline on Page 5. With the current script of Fairy Ring, Cirno and Suwako don’t meet until Page 14, and the punchline wouldn’t have happened until the end of Chapter 1. With the new version of the script, Cirno and Suwako meet on Page 2, and the first punchline comes around Page 10. And the end result is that the chapters are shorter, see #2 below.

2. Sticking to the source.
The first chapter of Fairy Ring is based on the African folk tale Why Frogs And Snakes Never Play Together. But you couldn’t tell, what with the unnecessary cameos of Reimu and the Aki Sisters, and equally unnecessary demonstrations of Sanae’s miracle power and Kourin’s eyes of truth. The source says “They meet, they have fun, and when they meet again they have learned that they are incompatible”. While the following chapters 2 and 3 are about them overcoming this incompatibility, for the first chapter anything that distracts from the basic outline should be trimmed.

3. Improving the art.
The worst part of posting Fairy Ring was my constant embarrassment of how sloppy the art was in places. I know this was to save time, but I need to bring the quality up to Lotus Cobra levels at least. It won’t do if I’m deterred from posting by my pride not being able to take working below my established standards. Just look at the above picture. Isn’t it so much more appealing?

I know there are some people who are content with the original version of Fairy Ring, but I guarantee that when I finish the revised first chapter, you will see why I, or anyone else, should “never submit the first draft”.

3 Responses to “Fairy Ring (Take 2)”

  1. I really love how you draw character faces. Have I mentioned that?

  2. Sixten says:

    I am aware that you like my style, and I remember you once made a post about Miao Diary. But I don’t remember you mentioning the faces specifically. I’m often criticized for using the same face across multiple characters.

    Regardless, thank you.

  3. jbrennan says:

    Tony Taka does it all the time and not too many complain, if that makes you feel better.

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