Autumn Children (Take 1) – Pages 15-16

I know I said this book would be 50 pages long, but I’m having second thoughts because the conclusion needs more fleshing out. It should still be no more than 64 pages when this is done. If I find myself going over 64, I’ll forcefully cut scenes, sacrificing for the sake of finishing.

I’ve hit my stride and hopefully should be able to keep up the rate of two pages a week, without having to compromise quality like I did with Fairy Ring. With this comes the end of Act 1 (of 4 16-page acts, hopefully some will be shorter). My worst case finish will be Sunday, March 17, 2013, which happens to be St. Patrick’s Day.

Page 15
Page 16

END ACT 1

I was proud of my work on Page 15 – which has extra detail thanks to the Labor Day holiday – until I realized that it was not clear enough which bubbles were referring to which characters. Toho fans will be fine because they know who’s who, but other readers will be confused. Unfortunately, it’s too late to change.

Shizuha so far has been presented as somewhat pathetic and pitiable, like one of the forgotten beach house gods in Kamichu. While this is on purpose, I understand that it can get depressing, and it requires a little suspension of disbelief to imagine that a goddess with Shizuha’s visibility would not have a following. (The best explanation would be that she doesn’t contribute to human survival, so there’s no need to ask for her blessing.) But rest assured that it gets better, that this story is about Shizuha becoming less pathetic.

Next update: September 17. Act 2 introduces two more Toho favorites into Shizuha and Lunasa’s story – one with short blonde hair (again, sorry) and another with animal ears.

2 Responses to “Autumn Children (Take 1) – Pages 15-16”

  1. LeadPal says:

    I couldn’t resist stopping to play each character’s theme the moment I opened page 15.

  2. Mushyrulez says:

    Don’t worry about the bubbles there; since they’re consistent, there shouldn’t be too much confusion? Changing the titles might help a bit if you make sure Suwako’s is tied to frogs, Kanako’s is tied to floating in mid-air like a boss, etc.

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